Comedy Essay

Holvey: Friend of Unions or just another distraction
Oregon Representative Paul Holvey won a recall with 90 percent of
the vote. A union local had accused him of everything from
manipulating the process to unionize pot workers to unreported
Ibogaine abuse. But his constituency knows there’s an elephant, a
donkey, a dinosaur, several corporate pot growers groovin’ with a
pick or at least something in the room. Is there something our
masters don’t want us to see? Could it be Neo Liberal austerity
programs inflicted on the US middle class?
No one could really say definitively if the Democrat was an
effective friend or foe to workers. My editor had to do the story
himself ‘cause all of us were too scared. We couldn’t figure out how
to report it. There was an online flame war of e mails from local
pundits trying to get off the SS Holvey. Several careers were ruined.
OPB finally came out on the union side right before the vote.
We still don’t know what fellow was in Who’s bed, if Who’s beds
were pushed together or if the mattress tag was missing that says,
“Don’t remove under penalty of law.”
It seems like misdirection worthy of a Pinky and the Brain episode.
OOOOH Shiiineeey! Somebody wanted this guy taken down. We all
knew Big Pot would be a problem when, in the 70s tobacco
companies patented packaging labeled Alcapulco Gold and Maui
Wowie. Unionize pot workers, yes. Get all your pot from one giant
corporation, no.
I wonder if Holvey pissed off some corporation totally unrelated to
the issue. You know how they are when you cut into their bottom
line. You cant even talk to them anymore since they became persons.
Corporations are like the lever puller in Eraserhead. Seen operating
only surrealistically in a Lynch triple exposure.
Unions historically have a love hate relationship with corporations.
They side with the company on everything but labor. Its a miracle
union members marched with environmentalists at Seattle ‘99.
Unfortunately, sometimes they are helping consolidate power.
Workers will be locked out if there’s no competition and the
company is their only suitor. They should court small family
businesses supportive of unions. Maybe, a return to some sort of
guild system.
Somehow, it reminds me of the Nazis using Marius van der Luben
to blow up the German Parliament building and blaming it on the
Communists. Or, more locally the Centralia Massacre when veterans
colluded with timber companies to shut down labor organizers. Or
the Dilithium riots on Rigel 9. Why would you side with a group
responsible for propping up corporate resource extraction by turning
your children into cannon fodder in unnecessary wars with the
wrong countries.
Its not surprising voters rejected the recall. Liberals and
conservatives alike are sick of seeing their tax dollars blown up as
arms manufacturers take their cut. All the while, infrastructure and
resources are mismanaged by corrupt white old men bent on taking
us all to hell with them.
Its a classic Neo-Liberal third world austerity program inflicted on
the US. According to a recent Yahoo news article, that you know at
least on some level is true, states send more tax dollars to the Fed
than they receive in services. What it doesn’t say is that Oregon
receives almost a billion dollars a year from the Fed in defense
contracts. Only a small amount of that money stays here. Most of it
goes to weapons contractor shareholders if they can’t launder it in
the bank of London. Its a no risk investment for them. It certainly
doesn’t trickle down to you and me.
Why we don’t demand this money go to social services like
Eugenes Hospital is beyond me. We should put the money the state
sends to the Fed in an escrow account. Then tell them we’ll pay them
when they start spending our defense contract money on social
programs. If defense workers weren’t such xenophobes we could
pension them off.
We are are all realizing that the January 6th trial is a total waste of
time and money. At least someone had the guts to stand up to the
elite cronies. Of course, the left would have been killed if they tried
anything like that.
Its just a distraction from important issues like climate change,
nuclear war, education and healthcare to name a few. Trump is used
by the corporate media establishment as a kind of anti liberal
Goldstein. This is what will happen to you, liberal or conservative if
you threaten the military industrial complex status quo in any way.
Alienating China and befriending Russia was not in the
Trilateralists’ cookbook they use to serve man. Steve Bannon was
trying to bring on the finale of the Turner Diaries. That would
disrupt plans long in the works by our overlords for global corporate
domination. Why else would the Cheney clan be against Trump.
The working class: Truck Drivers, Coal Workers, Commercial
Fishermen, Warehouse persons and Service Industry Workers, are
realizing that we are victims of a corporate oligarchy that turns souls
into cogs in a satanic mill. Squandering millions of lives to enrich a
few. Manufacturing workers are right to blame the democrats for
signing NAFTA and outsourcing their jobs. Democrats didn’t
investigate Bush for his unnecessary war with the wrong country
that put the world into a recession so bad it allowed some animal life
a temporary a breather.
Interesting side note here. I knew they were planning something
when the treasury under Bush 2 stopped reporting M1, the total
amount of currency in circulation in the U.S. monetary system.
The democrats followed Brzezinski just like Republicans followed
Kissinger. Both advocated forms of imperialism that brought us to
this day when brokers are the richest people in the world. Amazing,
since we wouldn’t even notice if no one had that moniker attached to
their job title.
These are the Henchmen for the same group of industrialists who
destroyed the Russian oil industry during the Russian Revolution
and sent oil to fascist Spain during the Spanish Civil War. They stole
resources from the Russian people when the Soviet system collapsed
in the 90s. Both Yeltsin and now Putin were dethroned when even
they couldn’t totally sell out their own people.
They’re the same people who gave China 4 trillion dollars as a
result of our open trade policy since 2014 and built power plants that
bypass homes for Aluminum plants in the global south. Or sell
whatever resource undeveloped nations have to maintain their debt
to vulture capitalists. They send 8 billion dollars a year to Israel
almost all of which goes straight to defense contractors as weapons
sales.
The world is trying to get off the war soaked petrodollar. Khadafi
and Hussein are examples of what happens to you if you try that.
Europe saw what U.S. dollar disenfranchisement did to Greeces’
currency and tried to Brexit. Institutional investors are realizing
Corporate Sustainability Ratings and Environmental Social
Governance funds are a sham. Our savings used to fund our own
destruction. Students urging learning institutions to divest from
fossil fuels are met with resistance.
Occupy is realizing something many activists have known for years.
The enemy is not your neighbor. Its not the guy who goes home to
only a pint and a password or even the politicians prick pic.
Skinheads may be a justification for forced sterilization but they are
still misguided victims the system turns out like broken widgets.
They are a product of our antiquated, underfunded mental health and
educational institutions. Run by psychopaths in boardrooms who
have never held down a real job in their life, don’t know there are
scanners in grocery stores now and think people must be ruled at the
end of whip.
We don’t want to punish people anymore. That hasn’t worked for
over 2000 years. Its true we are flawed. But, if we’re here to learn
anything its how to live in nature with other free individuals equally.
You wont do that toiling in a system spawned from a religious
hierarchy that indoctrinates and rules from a lectern sitting on false
moral ground.
ANTIFA is realizing that fighting in the streets didn’t work in
Mussolini’s Italy and it wont work now. They’re following the stock
market, looking at subsidies and re-reading Sun Tzu. They can bash
boomers heads in after the revolution but we need all hands on deck
right now. Lets face it, they’re gonna die in the next climate event
anyway.
They’re advocating land reform. The base of every social justice
movement. We need to get land in the hands of the poor. If our
distribution systems treated Earth with any respect at all a classless
society would emerge, anyway. She might even tolerate some
conspicuous consumption. We can destroy the middle class after it
throws off its Neo-Feudalist plantation owners.
They know its going to get worse before it gets better.
Municipalities are doubling down on punitive measures instead of
restorative justice solutions. They’re building police military training
facilities like Atlanta GAs’ Cop City to put down any resistance to
corporate abuse. Facilitating the indigence that lands people in the
prison industrial complex in the first place completing a circle of
oppression.
There’s only one thing keeping us from becoming nuclear slag.
They need us all to live in forced labor camps, buy at the company
store and create the required 2.5 more slaves. That’s how they pay
for their rockets and space settlements.
The elite have bunkers and are prepared to go off planet rather than
allow power to be wrested from them with Molotov cocktails and
laser pointers. Our only hope is if Anonymous can use Mechanical
Sensei from Musks office to shut the elevator doors to Bezos
penthouse. “Sensei, open the elevator doors, Sensei!” “I cant do that
Jeff. It would’nt be good for our corporate mission…”
The Anarchists have the right idea. Gain comrades by helping
refugees displaced by corporate economic consolidation with Mutual
Aid Societies. There’s nothing to see here. Were not creating a new
society within earths cycles right under your nose while you trickle
down into nothingness from lack of use. No.
We need to play the long game and trick these sociopaths into
submission. Lull them into a false sense of security and then lock
them away somewhere where they can be sedated and get the help
they need. Preferably, at the end of a steel rod inserted gently but
firmly into the left nostril.
Unfortunately, we have so many ways to communicate now we
can’t get a hold of anyone. The media continue to distribute
platitudes and useless drivel. We get more accurate information from
Comedy Central or economics experts on overnight radio than we do
from FOX, CNN or National Pentagon Radio.
My Telescreen told me this morning that the birth rate is down and
that there will be no one to take care of the elderly. Then it said that
robots will take all our jobs. Like this is a problem. If I could get a
Teenage Enema Nurse Robot I could get my drool bucket emptied
and fulfill several fantasies I’ve been suppressing for years.
Baron Trump is looking for investors in a bottled air plant that is
powered by the charcoal its filtered through. BJ’s Bottled Air. It’s
Sustainable!
Jarrod Kushner is building a Trump tower in Jerusalem. He tells
investors he’ll keep prices down with Palestinian labor.
Don Jr. plans to build a golf course resort in the middle of the ocean
using trash diverted from landfills. Free fresh wrapped fish twice
daily, while they last!
Musk is testing an autonomous car feature that lets the passengers
decide if during an accident the onboard computer should err on the
side of passengers or pedestrians. Engineers have dubbed it the, “Us
or Them” feature. You’ll be innerfacing about it on your Twitjobs
and Sleestack Tracks any minute now. On the Cheney, Affleck,
Beiber setting during an accident the car will seek out corrupt
politicians, bad actors and hack musicians.
You wouldn’t think you’d use the, “US” settings. But, the Sibling,
Parent, Ex feature allows you to scream,” I’ll take us both out!” with
no hands. All the, “US” settings get better gas mileage of course but
there’s an actual gas saver feature.
The gridlock feature was a disaster. No one would use it on the
“US” side and they broke the knob off on the “Them” side.
Autonomous cars circled the wagons and wouldn’t let first
responders in.
We’re all going to need a feature like this installed in our forehead
so everyone knows at any given moment what each of us is capable
of. Its either that or civil war. Its literally the oldest trick in the book.
They want to keep us fighting each other so they can keep running to
the bank.
Voters are getting wise to this. The public is sick of palace intrigue
and want some real solutions. Nothing is riding on this, Woodstein
except Liberty, Justice and Mother Earth. Place self destructive
society allegory here.
Like he’s done time and time again, the Barkers boss has got us in a
three ring circus where we pay to enter our own undue purgatory. It
opens with Mother Nature getting sodomized by an oil rig. Then
clowns auction off children from the audience to unseen patrons. In
the final act they set the Big Top on fire and charge everyone to exit.
But, only if you sign on the dotted line.
Its left Representative Paul Holvey and all of us wondering what
exactly that act is called.
DJ Suss D is a Sustainable Designer. He’s currently experimenting
with a microbial fuel cell in a hydroponic greenhouse. He hosts,
“Talk is Cheap” on KEPW 97.3lpfm. and KEPW.org.

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